The Instrument Personality Test
What does your instrument say about you?
When I was in middle school in the 1990s (sigh…), I joined the band. Up until that point, I had only played piano, and I was eager to join a new community of folks. My school had what was called Stage Band, and they routinely played rock songs. That was a huge selling point. I was all in.
When you joined band in seventh grade, you were ushered through a week of instrument testing. Trumpet, clarinet, flute, tuba, drums, saxophone, etc. The teacher would coach us through how to place our mouth and/or hands, we’d attempt a few notes, she’d make a few notes on paper, and when all was said and done, she presented each student with three recommendations.
When results day came, I was met with three choices, in order of suitability based on my try-outs: tuba, percussion, and trombone.
Woof. (No offense is intended for my tubists, percussionists, or trombonists.)
I took my recommendations home, and my mother was surprisingly definitive. Tuba? No, too big and expensive. Percussion? Also no. It’s too loud, and she didn’t want a drummer in the house. Trombone? Sounded fine. The green light was given.
What ensued was a trip to the local pawn shop, and after a few minutes of looking around, it was decided that a $60 Conn Company trombone was both suitable and economical.
A trombonist was born.
Most musicians will say that your instrument of choice (including voice, and let’s include musical theatre, too) says a lot about you. Each choice definitely has its own “brand”, and I thought it might be fun and interesting to discuss it all in a not-so-serious way. It’s August, after all, and the reality of September is about to slam into us all. Let’s keep it light as we enjoy these last few weeks before the unofficial end of summer.
The following is the result of a quick scan of what Google has to say about the various instruments. Some truth, some jokes. You be the judge. Enjoy!
The Piano People
Piano students are the overachievers of the music world. They want ALL the notes available at once. Chords, interesting harmonies, percussive staccato, and sustained lyrical lines. Everything. Why limit yourself to one melody line when you can play the bass, the harmony, AND the tune simultaneously? A little bit of everything, please.
Maybe they’re natural organizers? Everything is laid out logically: low notes on the left, high notes on the right, black keys for the fancy work. It's kind of color-coded. It makes me wonder if these are the folks whose backpacks have separate compartments for everything.
Our Stringed Friends
Violin: The perfectionists? Violinists are drawn to an instrument with no frets, no training wheels, just you and your ear trying to find the exact right spot on four strings with no margin for error. It's like musical tightrope walking. They often have excellent posture and are probably color-coding their calendar.
Viola: Viola students have chosen the path less traveled. They've embraced the instrument that gets all the jokes and somehow turned it into a badge of honor. Violists tend to be quietly confident, comfortable being essential without needing to be flashy. They're the musical equivalent of people who prefer the book to the movie.
Guitar: The guitar is the golden retriever of instruments: friendly, approachable, and always ready to be the life of the party. Guitar students are often the storytellers who aren't afraid of a campfire circle. They're the ones who somehow know a dozen Beatles tunes even though they swear they never learned them.
Cello: Cello students have chosen the instrument that requires its own chair and takes up as much floor space as a small person. They're committed. They're also usually the ones in the friend group who remember everyone's birthday and actually listen when you're having a bad day.
Double Bass: Double bass students are the ultimate commitment enthusiasts. They've chosen an instrument that's taller than most people and requires its own zip code for transportation. These are the students who think big in every way. They provide the foundation that everyone else builds on, and they are usually the gentle giants who can make their massive instrument whisper or roar as needed.
The Woodwinds
Flute: Flute students often have an ethereal quality, like they might float away if not properly anchored. They've chosen the instrument that most closely resembles actual breathing, which seems very zen until you realize they're holding their arms up in the air for 45 minutes straight.
Oboe: Oboe students are the brave souls who've chosen the instrument that requires making your own reeds—basically becoming a small-scale craftsperson just to make music. They're meticulous, patient, and usually have a small collection of tiny knives. Oboists tend to be perfectionists who don't mind that their instrument can sound like either an angel or a duck, depending on the day.
Clarinet: The middle child of the woodwind family. Not as flashy as the saxophone, not as delicate as the flute, but reliable and versatile. Clarinet students are often the ones who do their homework on time and remember to bring snacks for everyone.
Saxophone: Saxophone students have swagger, even the quiet ones. There's something about playing an instrument invented by a guy named Adolphe that just oozes confidence. They're comfortable being both smooth jazz and rock anthem, sometimes in the same song.
Bassoon: Bassoon students have chosen an instrument that looks like it was assembled from spare parts and sounds like a friendly bear giving advice. Bassoonists are often quietly witty and possess the patience of saints—because let's face it, setting up a bassoon is basically assembling furniture every time you want to practice.
The Brass Section
Trumpet: Trumpeters are leaders, which makes sense because their instrument is literally designed to make announcements. They're comfortable being loud and in charge. These are the students who will remind you that there's a quiz tomorrow, but they'll do it with a smile.
French Horn: French horn students are courageous souls who've chosen an instrument that looks like it was designed by someone who lost a bet. It's basically a brass pretzel with an attitude. Horn students tend to be quietly confident and possess an otherworldly patience.
Trombone: (My people!) Trombone students have embraced the awkwardness. We play the only brass instrument that requires you to physically move your arm to change pitch. It's like playing brass limbo. Trombonists tend to have a good sense of humor because, let's face it, you kind of have to.
Tuba: Tuba students are the affable, gentle teddy bears. They've chosen the instrument that sounds like a friendly whale and provides the secure foundation for everything around it. They're usually the ones who give the best hugs and always have snacks.
The Rhythm Section
Drums/Percussion: Drummers are the time-keepers, the heartbeat, the ones who keep everyone else from falling apart. They've also chosen the loudest possible way to make music, which suggests either supreme confidence or a complete lack of regard for their neighbors' peace and quiet.
The Voice
Singers have chosen the most direct route possible—no buffer between their intention and their sound. They're comfortable with vulnerability, or at least they're working on it. They're also the only musicians who can practice in the shower, which is a significant advantage.
The Plot Twist
Okay, okay. Some of that was groan-worthy, but I’ll admit that a few made me chuckle. Well played, Google search.
But here's the beautiful thing about music: sometimes the instrument chooses you, not the other way around. Sometimes the quiet kid falls in love with the trumpet. Sometimes the class clown discovers their soul through the cello. Sometimes a middle schooler gets assigned to the trombone by process of elimination and ends up with a career in music.
The real magic isn't in what your instrument says about you. It's in what you discover about yourself through playing it.
And honestly, after all these years, I think that $60 pawn shop trombone was one of the best investments my family ever made.
So, what's your instrument story? Did you choose it, or did it choose you? Does your personality match your instrument, or did your instrument shape your personality? Drop a comment below. We'd love to hear how you ended up with your musical partner in crime.
Note by note,
Nick